MENZ 2 BOYZ? - Our very own band...By Ziggy Arness
In our short history in the SFL, Dingley have brought to this league hitherto unwitnessed crowd numbers, and, if nothing else-innovation! Jumping castles, heavily promoted local derby blockbusters, a fold-down cage, skydiving, a deranged correspondent, a travelling Hill Club, Margaret Patterson's lukewarm sausage rolls and last but not least, the coup de grace-The Band! Most clubs have riff-raff - we just have the riff!
Rumour has it that when these blokes first got together in 2006 (having met through their involvement in football), an innocent bystander privy to their first rehearsal, yelled out: "you should be banned!" They misconstrued and formed one. Even though they all live in houses, I suspect (and subsequent events lend weight), they practiced in A Flat.
So let me introduce you to the members of our very own band:
Leigh Menzel, 39, software developer, Bass guitar and vocals. At a very early age, Leigh told his mum: "When I grow up I want to be a guitarist", his mother replied: "But son, you can't do both!"
Gordon Watt, 41, truck driver, Lead guitar and vocals. He is the one who keeps a tight rein on the other group members ambitions to evolve this pastime into a career. Gordon is perspicacious enough to know that the first thing a professional musician says when he gets to work is: "Would you like any fries with that?"
Tony "Lester" Ellis, 41, accountant, Rhythm guitar and VERY vocal. One of our football recruits this year has moved into Tony's street. He reckons the only thing about Dingley he can't get used to is living next door to Ellis!
The boys are fortunate to have two drummers to choose from:
Ian "Tubby" Taylor, 40, lawyer, who is employed for "adult" gigs, and: Gordon's son Clancy, 9,schoolboy, who, according to Leigh, is utilised to pull the potato peelers at their football engagements.
This mob have undergone a number of name changes in their short existence. Variously known as "Roger That", "Manbag", "Gordon Bleu and the Juicy Tidbits". "Menzel as Anything" and "Tonz and the Teabaggers", their present sobriquet is "The Purists". Wouldn't that make a few better-credentialed musos turn in their grave!
Whilst their roots are in mainstream rock, their expansive repertoire means there's nothing they won't attack. Their focus this year centres on Elvis and when they launch into the opening lines of "the Wonder of You"---"When no-one else can understand me, when everything I do is wrong", the crowd nods in silent agreement. And there is a delicious irony when they sing "Don't Be Cruel"
On a serious note (maybe one day they'll hit one of those), make no mistake; these are well versed, educated musicians. Words like treble clef, staccato and fortissimo roll off the tongue as easily as "Up There Cazaly". The only musical term they are discombobulated by on match day is "3/4 time"! One thing I must say, they invariably have the crowd in raptures at the conclusion of their final bracket.
I don't think Leigh, Gordon and Tony have ever forgiven me for the comment I relayed in one of my reports last year: "somebody told me their music is not as bad as it sounds". To compensate for that, I'm now trying to get them an away gig-at one of the many opposition clubs whose catering planning is sadly deficient. There they could perform their own version of "The Club With No Beer", especially appropriate because it contains the line: "where the wild dingoes call'.
I believe their next planned performance is at home this week against St Kilda City, when they'll be aiming for perfect pitch. "Perfect Pitch" for these guys, of course, means lobbing any one of their instruments cleanly into a green bin from 20 paces.
At this time, they are labouring on their first LP, a hotchpotch of totally unrelated songs. Working title is "Unchained Malady". In the meantime, we can't wait until they next get back on stage. Oh no, not the one about "the next stage out of town------
MENZ 2 BOYZ? - Our very own band...
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